Friday, September 10, 2010

Project Runway, Season 8 - Episodes 5, 6 and 7


Good lord, everybody, we have a lot to catch up on! I have been just terrible at keeping up with these Project Runway reviews and there has certainly been a lot to review these past few weeks in the land of "Make It Work." Epic battles, insane challenges and one pissed off Mr. Tim Gunn.

There is obviously much to cover and you know I am chock full of opinions, so let's get going...

EPISODE 5: GRETCHEN TAKES COMMAND
I love me a good group challenge - and this will certainly go down as one of the best in Project Runway history.

After a shocking win by Michael Costello, all the "cool kid" designers decided they hated him, which made it so wonderful when they all ended up on a team together as they were charged with creating a six-piece collection for Fall 2010 on a budget of $1,000. Each team had to choose two trends to combine into their collection. "Team Cool" picked women's wear and camel while "Team Loser" picked military and lace.

Team Cool consisted of Gretchen, Michael Costello, Christopher Collins, Andy and Ivy. Even though an official team leader wasn't chosen, it was clear from the start that two-time challenge winner Gretchen would be taking control of this ship while convincing all the other designers what a great job they were all doing. It was like watching the Titantic slowly approach the ice berg - you knew danger was ahead but there was nothing you could do to stop it. Except in this case, it was hilarious. Meanwhile, on Team Loser (aka Peach, Casanova, Valerie, Michael Drummond, Mondo and April), Casanova almost quit because he realized all his clothes are for sluts, old people and flamenco dancers. Those people need clothes too, right? Oh, and he started getting fat - definitely a good reason to leave. Valerie came to the rescue, told him to put his panties back on and got him back in the work room.

Oh, those crafty producers tried their darndest to have us believe Team Loser was full of a bunch of nobodies who would be cast aside as a human sacrifice to Michael Kors as he praised Team Cool for their wisdom and skill. Nice try. The camel womenswear collection was an atrocious mess without an ounce of cohesion. Their method of multiple designers contributing to a single look resulted in it all being a bland mess. If "luxe" really means "boring and ghastly," they nailed it. Team lace and military, on the other hand, produced a collection that showed off each designers' strengths and personalities while keeping a cohesive thread. I could've gone without those awful chunky zippers.

Of course the highlight of this episode was the deliberation from hell, which started with all the designers defending the collection and being disgustingly PC... and ended with Gretchen losing her mind and throwing everyone under the bus (especially Michael Costello, who everyone hates) and making a total fool of herself. Nicely done, cool kids.

Casanova, you know - the one who almost quit, was crowned the champion and after much deliberation and AJ, who has horrible back tattoos and looked like a big coke whore and made a terrible shirt dress (see above), was auf'd. Did it end there, though? Hellll no! Tim Gunn delivered a doozy of a bitch slap to Team Not-So-Cool, scolding them for falling in line with Gretchen's dictatorship. Uncle TIm was none too pleased, but I was thrilled to watch it all unfold.

Aren't group challenges fun?!

EPISODE 6: JUST SHORTEN IT AND WEAR IT AGAIN!
I'm glad Project Runway brought the issue of bridesmaids dresses back into the spotlight. After all, I loved 27 Dresses and in general any opportunity to expose the heinousness of bridesmaids dresses. Ladies - you absolutely cannot wear them again! Stop pretending like you picked the only one in the universe that defies this rule. You didn't. Accept the fact that you are torturing your friends and let's move on.

The designers were paired with a former bridesmaid and tasked with converting their terrible dress to a fashionable look. Some designers flourished. Others made matters worse. The Michael Costello hatred continued when the designers showcased their work for the public [gasp!] and Ivy heard that MC was talking serious trash about her. 1) If he had actually said that, you better believe the camera crew six inches from his face 24/7 would've caught it; 2) Ivy, you are the bitch of the group - so don't get mad if someone actually says it.

Michael Costello won another challenge, mostly because the judges wanted to give the rest of the designers a symbolic middle finger for being so catty on the runway during the group challenge. The best design, however, was definitely Mondo - a complete transformation in pink and black blocking that was only criticized for some whack Jersey Shore-inspired hair. Also in the top was cutey Christopher Collins with a gold print cocktail dress.

Remember when I said some of the designers made matters worse? I was really just talking about Peach and Michael Drummond. Both made outfits that made the bridesmaids dresses that came before them look fashionable and red carpet ready. Michael Drummond could not figure out how to dress a curvaceous body without making a muumuu and Peach got confused and thought she was designing for an episode of Blossom. And in the end, it was poor Peach who got auf'd. No scolding from Tim this time, just a lot of tears and talk of a fairy drag mother.

I miss Peach.

EPISODE 7: SANDCASTLES IN THE SAND
Yacht trip! Michael Kors! Resort wear!

A pretty straightforward task became a true challenge when the designers were paired up and charged with constructing their partner's design. And while I predicted serious trouble for the Gretchen/Casanova pairing, the real trouble came in form of our tiny little Korean nightmare Ivy. She gave Michael Drummond serious attitude, and instead of altering her design to account for his technical weaknesses, she ended up designing a potato sack with zero shape in a sad gray color.

Meanwhile, Michael Costello and Mondo started off on the wrong foot and ended in each others' arms. Literally - the were cuddling on the couch by the end of the episode. I really can't say more than that.

In the top this week were Andy with his super chic and gorgeous bathing suit/wrap combo (pictured above), April's tough baby doll lingerie outfit (with straps that reminded me of Victorya from Season 4... "she's not hailing a cab in that dress!) and Michael Drummond's beach funeral outfit, which no one will ever be able to convince me belonged anywhere near the top. Why wasn't Christopher Collins' draped print top and capris in the top?! Ugh. The win went to April, who may just be the dark horse of Season 8, even though it probably should've been Andy.

Casanova, Mondo and Ivy ended up in the bottom - though it was clear Mondo was not being auf'd. And while Ivy's creation was anything but good, Casanova has had a pretty abysmal track record on the show and so it was time to say "adios."


I'll depart with Casanova's closing words: "Sad? Zero. Disappointed? Maybe a quart." Well said, amigo.
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