Thursday, October 14, 2010

Family Jules: Eat the Sword

Images courtesy of ABC

Deep dark secrets were revealed on last night's Modern Family and Cougar Town. Unflattering bike shorts, secret one-night stands—nothing was sacred and it it had me both laughing and running into the bathroom to cry (seriously, not all gay men do it...).

So before I head out for my troga class, let's Lady and the Tramp this bitch and take a look at the best moments...

Modern Family
Season 2, Episode 4: "Strangers on a Treadmill"
Inspired by Strangers on a Train (which Mitchell would be disappointed to know I've never seen), Claire and Mitchell decide to do the other's dirty work—Claire will tell Cam to lose his super snug bike shorts and Mitchell will tell Phil not to tell horrible jokes at an upcoming banquet. Meanwhile, Jay, Gloria and Manny went to an employee's quinceaƱera, only to accidentally end up at an engagement party without Jay's knowledge. Not the funniest of episodes, but rather insanely cute and endearing which I still adore.
"I hate it when you do that. 'You never heard of Troga? You never tried octopus? You never did this amazing thing I just discovered yesterday but I pretend like I've done my whole life?'" - Claire, who laughs at all of Phil's jokes with her mouth, not her eyes.

"Not Kevin - he's a rock!" - Phil, who is no straight guy.

"You just throw them an Obama steak and run to the golf course!" - Gloria, who Jay thinks will really hit it off with Que...

"I'm just lucky only one turned around." - Jay, who is appalled by the way people dance at quinceaƱeras.

"It's not homework if you love it, right?" - Alex, who had brief control over McKenzie, who Haley invented.

"Wow. Well, you had that bullet in the chamber." - Mitchell, whose beard is very off-putting.
(Not What The Show Is) Cougar Town
Season 2, Episode 4: "The Damage You've Done"
When Grayson and Laurie reveal their one-night stand from last season to Jules, she struggles with who to really be mad at while Bobby heckles a sword swallower and Andy coaches Travis (now complete with soul patch) in dealing with his open relationship with Kylie.
"Visor douche." - Ellie, whose nerps sometimes point in different directions.

"You know usually I don't like middle aged men watching me get down with m'lady but this time it felt right. So, nice to see you and boo-yah!" - Travis, who has the body of a girl gymnast.

"If it weren't for that mirror by his bathtub, we never would have even made eye contact." - Laurie, who has started to breathe Smith's name.

"Who will hand over their wine glass and go?" - Jules, whose driver's license picture is from 20 2 years ago.

"And here comes the cheerleader with the high kick and the Ro-ger Ra-bbit!" - Grayson, who isn't a strong skater.

"I really like this orange. Makes me feel fancy." - Andy, who hates jugglers.

"You get the tail, I get the head. Let's Lady and the Tramp this bitch." - Jules, who has the most magical sweet ever—a chocolate manatee!
What did you think of last night's episodes? Was Ellie being a little too mean to Laurie? Did you get Ramotional when Smith dumped Laurie? Are you going to start learning troga? And is it time for us to add "Eat the sword!" to our list of catch phrases next to "Slap out of it" and "Wine up"?
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