Thursday, October 21, 2010

Family Jules: We've Been Shawshanked

Images courtesy of ABC

The laughs just keep on coming with Modern Family and Cougar Town this season. Seriously, what did we do before these shows? How did we know how to properly drink red wine? And how did we even begin to grasp the intricacies of Columbian culture?

Let's take a look at the best moments of last night's episodes...

Modern Family
Season 2, Episode 5: "Unplugged"
Distressed by her family's overuse of technology, Claire starts a week-long ban on electronics. Jay worries Gloria may have something to do with the neighbors' dog's disappearance while Mitchell and Cam struggle to find the perfect school for Lily.
"Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America." - Mitchell, who could never throw a dodgeball through a piece of plywood like Cam.

"Jebediah Dunphy. Raising barns, witnessing murders and making electric fireplace hearths." - Phil, whose funny bone can't be unplugged.

"Jay, I've learned a few things in my 12 years. Don't skimp on linens, don't compliment a teacher on her figure and when it comes to my mom, never ask questions I don't want the answers to." - Manny, who has no idea what kids do and might have an espresso addiction.

"Because in Columbia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street?! Do you know how offensive that is?! Like we're Peruvians!!" - Gloria, who is really happy to have peeeeeckles.

"Disabled interracial lesbians with an African kicker?!" - Cam, whose white-man name is Tucker

"Holy crap. We've been Shawshanked." - Phil, who Claire has almost no faith in.

"I spent two days in my room talking to a bar of soap!" - Haley, who is kinda scary.
(100% Cougar Free) Cougar Town
Season 2, Episode 5: "Keeping Me Alive"
Bobby, sick of relying on Jules for alimony, attempts to prove himself, while Ellie tries to remain the smartest in the cul-de-sac crew and Laurie suppresses her feelings after being dumped by Smith.
"'Names for Travis If He Was a Girl.' Ah.. Jules, Jr. But he would go by JJ." - Jules, who cannot pronounce ruin.

"Yesss… I don't." - Andy, who secretly still wants to know what vajazzling is and can't wear bow ties because his neck is like a tree trunk.

"Truth or Penny Can just got real y'all." - Laurie, whose aunt may or may not have gotten pregnant by trying on bikinis (whatever, that baby saved their marriage).

"Really? Right to the disposing of the body?" - Smith, whose dead body could easily fit in Andy's large trunk.

"I hate documentaries. They're too preachy and you can't clap when someone dies because it's real." - Ellie, who is an island surrounded by a sea of dummies.

"Oh, good. I am wearing trunks." - Bobby, who may have ruined golf.

"We're brilliant on a level that they can't even comprehend. We have to fake being smart and superior." - Travis, who is terrible at no-look shots in Penny Can (that poor wine glass!).
What were your favorite moments, fellow judgers? Are you going to try eating cereal "no hands" style like Luke? Are you afraid of running into shovel-wielding Gloria in a dark alley? And are you going to start increasing the letter count in your name to account for the exclamation points? Sound off in the comments!
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