Thursday, December 2, 2010

Family Jules: Forcefield!

Images courtesy of ABC

Since last night's Modern Family and Cougar Town were reruns, it allows us to catch up on last week's episodes, which gave us so much to be thankful for—modern medicine, text message breakups, oyster allergies and Rastafarian mind thoughts.

So before you check your App App for what you want for dinner (thanks, Zach Braff!), let's take a look at the best moments from last week's episodes.

Modern Family
Season 2, Episode 9: "Mother Tucker"
A visit from Cam's handsy mom makes Mitchell incredibly uncomfortable, Gloria refuses to believe Jay is actually sick and Phil doesn't handle Haley and Dylan's breakup well.
"How do we know the right Middle Eastern businessman wouldn't treat her great?" - Alex, who is a smart girl which unfortunately means she'll probably just end up with cats.

"Well in Columbia we couldn't run to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder!" - Gloria, who is a hardcore ping pong player.

"Sad face emoticon! You can feel the hurt through the phone!" - Phil, whose heart was forever broken by Linda "The Cannon" Concannon back in high school.

"It was like she was blind and wanted to know what my thighs looked like." - Mitchell, who still implements "Forcefield!" rules.

"Did she buy that? Because it sounded fake on this end." - Manny, who was having the round of his life.

"Oh, Brenda, you're about to have the most confusing summer of your life." - Cam, who loves Missouri's incredible cowboy poetry scene.

"Just put your fingers all over my fanny. Your magic fingers." - Mitchell, who presented himself to Cam's mama like a baboon.

"It's like I'm being stabbed, but also like I ate a bad scallop that's stabbing me from the inside." - Jay, who gives colorful descriptions that don't correspond to check boxes.

"His car is 30 years old and doesn't have a muffler. And he honked." - Phil/Vitamin P, who surprisingly convinced Dylan not to get a pet bobcat.
(Regretfully, We Give You) Cougar Town
Season 2, Episode 9: "When the Time Comes"
The Cul De Sac Crew prepares for a happy and relaxed Thanksgiving: Bobby realizes no one can understand what he's saying, Laurie and Ellie plan to destroy Andy's optimism and Jules says "I love you" to an nonreciprocating Grayson, thus spiraling her into panic and the creation of Romantic Thanksgiving.
"Crap load o' foam, girl! Crap load o' foam!" - Bobby, whose frazzle dazzle can't be flurby durbed by anyone.

"I have been so upset about your lost phone that I forgot to tend to my virtual horse's virtual broken leg and I had to virtually shoot him in the head" - Laurie, who has an app that shows you how to murder your husband without getting caught.

"The phone come back / Life is good / My scalp got rubbed by a Chinese dude / Jamaica!" - Andy, who was really excited to get new rings without a "Too Legit 2 Quit" inscription.

"They video dance. I hate it!" - Kevin, who loves pelvis-crushing hugs from Jules.

"Barf. I married a Care Bear!" - Ellie, who knows that Hammer is an overlooked artist.

"Your color's coming back. Well, maybe not in your face, but look at your hands - they're purple! That's good, right?" - Jules, who gets sick when she hears other people throwing up, but still finds a way to make it romantic.

"I would've beaten Katy Perry, but I ran out of boob tape." - Laurie, who had some fabulous and not-so-fabulous outfits throughout Romantic Thanksgiving (but I secretly loved each one).

"Jules, what I was going to say… before you poisoned me… " - Grayson, who is definitely allergic to oysters, possibly allergic to his ex-wife and questionably hates fluorescent lights.
So what did last week's episodes make you thankful for? Sweaters that look like something a girl would wear to the beach? The fact that Jules can swim so fast? Or how about that you didn't have to kill your own turkey on Thanksgiving and have to look down at sad little turkey orphan tears?
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