Oh me, oh my. After we had some cracktastic hippie-dippie menswear last week, the Project Runway producers just couldn't help themselves and threw us back into the lions den this week.
I'll save the yelling for later, for now let's start the rundown...
- Challenge: Since the designers did such an excellent job creating clothes inspired by the 1970s last week, they were asked once again to "look to the past" and create sophisticated, '70s-inspired clothing to be sold on Piperlime. Make sure to use that Piperlime wall thoughtfully, designers, and let's remember that RETRO and LITERAL are our enemies. Please tell me next week can just be a "make pretty clothes" challenge. I need to get the hell out of the '70s.
- Twist: Naturally, with only seven designers left there had to be a twist. Halfway through the challenge, Tim informed them that they had to make a second look that couldn't be separates. Not exactly the most inspiring twist, but I'll take it.
- In the Workroom:
- Anya loses her money envelope at Mood, but uses $11 from Anthony Ryan to buy a small piece of fabric, a zipper and some buttons. And she's only been sewing for four months, in case you didn't know.
- Viktor doesn't want to help anyone. "I ain't driving you no more, Miss Daisy," she hissed.
- The girls make a pact to tell each other when they see someone making a bad decision, which lasts all of three seconds once one of them actually makes a bad decision. Nice work, girls.
- Bert reveals that he used to go to Studio 54, and I start to forget the heinous Bert that we banished from the kingdom earlier this season.
- Tim tells Laura that Nina questions her taste, and Laura decides that's the only reason why she didn't win last week. I love a good delusional designer.
- The Judges: Joining Michael, Nina and Heidi this week was Piperlime Guest Editor (and former cast member of The City) Olivia Palermo. And while Ms. Palermo certainly had some insightful feedback, her suggestion for wide-cut shorts made me want to vomit.
- Top Three:
- Anya - Anya certainly churned out an impressive first look considering she only had $11 to make it. The judges harped on the color choice in the top, but I was more concerned with the major construction issues: the pants were definitely too short and the muslin top was not well-made at all. That being said, the print in the pants was a definite winner. As for the second look, I did not care for the print at all—it looked like an ugly Tetris pattern in mustard yellow. This was another example of Anya designing for herself, but the judges ignored that and went on to praise the sexy sheer back and how expensive it looked.
- Bert - I cannot explain how that booty-revealing first look got so much praise from the judges. Yes, the top was cute, but there was a skirt and disgusting pair of shorts that went completely ignored by the panel. The second look, however, was a total winner. It was chic and modern and I loved the use of different colors on the front and back.
- Viktor - Once again, Viktor was the clear winner this week. The first look featured a super hot blazer—okay, it was maybe a bit conservative—paired with a snakeskin top that surprisingly didn't look like it came from a truck stop in the middle of Arkansas (been there, seen them). The second look was a simple, effortless dress—and if we're going to pay attention to the Piperlime part of this challenge, that dress would look great on all sizes, thank you very much.
- Bottom Three:
- Anthony Ryan - I think this was the first time Anthony Ryan's color blindness might have gotten in his way, because the prints in his first look just did not belong together, especially paired with a poorly constructed skirt and disproportional vest. His second look was certainly better—I really liked that cool plaid print—but the maxi dress just didn't flow the way it should've which really lessened the dramatic effect of the look.
- Josh - Since Josh didn't know anything about the '70s, he just went ahead and recreated the worst of the '80s! He's been known to make hideous pants before, but the pair in his first look take the cake—Michael declared them against all laws of fashion in any decade. It was another prime example of Josh's inability to edit himself down. And although the silhouette and overall design of the second look wasn't bad, it lacked any sort of '70s inspiration and instead featured a horrible neon leopard print.
- Laura - Instead of showing Nina that she has sophisticated taste, Laura chose to pair two completely incongruous patterns in her first look and prove Nina's point. The only saving grace of that look was that it was well executed, especially the black and white chevron top. And while the second look was better in comparison—that silver tank was really cute!—it went to the opposite side of the spectrum right into Dullsville. As the judges said, it was like taking three sleeping pills.
- Nina Takes Control: While normally I highlight Michael's best quip of the night, Nina decided she had had enough with these second-rate designers and their horrid decisions and delivered some scathing critiques. The best one was when she stated what we were all thinking: "Acid-colored leopard print is. a. problem." Amen, Nina!
- And the winner is:
Viktor.Wait... what? It was Anya?! Anya won the challenge?!? Are you kidding me?! I'm sorry, I just can't. There is no way that look was a winner.
- And the non-winner that also gets the prize is: Bert, who didn't win the challenge but gets to sell his dress on Piperlime. Nope, I can't really explain it either. If it wasn't going to be Viktor for the win, Bert's second look should've just taken the prize.
- Auf Wiedersehen to:
Josh.Wait... what? Anthony Ryan went home? Are you eff-ing serious?!
I guess we can't get too upset—that's what happens on reality TV.
Nope, just kidding. We can get that upset. Ahhhhhhhh!
What did you think, dear readers? Are you still experiencing a judges-induced rage stroke over last night's results? Are you sick of hearing about the '70s? And now that we're down to six designers, who are you rooting for?
[Image Source: Lifetime]