I feel awful for not doing this earlier in the week, dear readers. So before we continue...
"Sail the oceans of your dreams and be the discoverer of great places. Happy Columbus Day."
Yup, Happy Endings can even make Columbus Day sound cool. Last night's episode featured a knock-out guest performance by Megan Mullally and followed an equally fantastic showing from Modern Family. So before I try and remember what job Mom Gilmore had, let's breakdown the best moments from each episode...
Season 3, Episode 5: "Hit and Run"
Mitchell and Cam argue whether to chase after the driver who rear-ended their car and then sped off, Manny and Jay resist pressure to make their projects and presentations flashier and Claire leaves Phil alone with the kids while she begins her campaign for Town Council.
[Funny Side Note: A few weeks ago, a truck sideswiped my fiance's car and then sped away while I was standing a few cars down on the sidewalk. Like Cam, my instinct was to run after the truck. Unlike Cam, I actually did it and, with the help of the policeman I found after chasing the truck for three blocks, caught the guy. Boo-ya.]
This episode was a prime example of how this show can take several disparate plotlines and weave them together for a stunningly hilarious finale—in this case, the men's chase and eventual tackle of the guy who stole Haley's fake ID money. I also loved that all of the kids in the episode had some great moments—Alex drunk off the drowsy allergy medicine and Manny reacting in horror when Gloria wants to behead his toy horse, to name a few—and Gloria ended up solving everyone's problems, albeit in her own Gloria way. David Cross' guest arc as Claire's election rival is sure to keep producing laughs, especially since charming Duane Bailey is essentially the anti-Tobias Fünke.
"I love them because they're a different mix of breeds, just like America." - Duane Bailey, puggle breeder, who won't let Claire use the employee-only elevator.Happy Endings
"You're going to school, not boarding a flight to Denver." - Manny, who hates backpacks on wheels and the Bieber-ization of America.
"If you want to fly, I'm not going to be the one to hold your feet on the ground. I want to be the one to push you off the cliff." - Phil, who's attracted to powerful (and black) women like Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice and Serena Williams.
"He wasn't armed. He had a Hillary bumper sticker." - Cam, who sustained a minor mouth injury in the accident.
"Help! He's slipping out of his skinny jeans!" Mitchell, who got grass stains tackling the perp.
Season 2, Episode 3: "Yesandwitch"
Penny's mom Dana (Megan Mullally) visits Chicago for a singing gig, though she forgets to tell Penny about her divorce, Brad and Jane are taking a "couples improv" class and Max uses them to convince tourists to take tours of Chicago in his '80s limo. Meanwhile, Dave tries to get in touch with his Navajo roots in order to increase business at the food truck.
This would have been a typically funny episode of Happy Endings no matter what. Brad and Jane's improv banter, Alex's Necksercisor injury and Dave's beaded fringe jacket were all the type of crazy we've come to expect (and love) from the show. But then add in one showstopping performance by Megan Mullally, coupled with Penny's usual antics, and you have one helluva episode. Between this and her stint as Tammy Two on Parks and Recreation, it's a wonder she hasn't swiped up at least one Guest Actress Emmy nomination. Could this be her year?
"We're like the Gilmore Girls, but we came first so we're better." - Penny, one half of the singing duo Two Hartz Beat As One.[Image Source: ABC]
"Tourists ruin everything! This place... the Vatican." - Max, who is an acquired taste like goat cheese or Mr. Bean.
"Maybe it just so happens I have some unidentified stew chunks." - Dave, who thinks v-neck season is year-round, before winning "the lottery of ancestry" and discovering he's 1/16th Navajo.
"You better neck yourself before you wreck yourself." - Alex, defending the Necksercisor (bye bye, muffin neck!).
"Scientists have discovered something called 'The J Spot.' Now, that's three beyond G so, you know, you do the math. Kablowee!" - Dana
"I guess I'll just have to settle for being booed off stage at a Bennigans, making my way past truck stop hoes, piling into a shared-ride van destined for Des Moines via crippling loneliness." - Dana, who told Penny she could have any job Barbie had.
And, of course, a special shou-out to Two Hartz Beat As One's rousing rendition of "Torn." I wish I could make it my ringtone.