It's been four solid weeks since we've had a dose of Modern Family or Happy Endings, so thank goodness ABC rolled out new episodes of each as soon as 2012 began. Withdrawal crisis averted.
So before I take advice from a marketing major at a party school, let's talk about last night's episodes...
Season 3, Episode 11: "Lifetime Supply"
Phil misses a follow-up call from his doctor after taking some mysterious tests and assumes the worst, Mitchell receives an award and Cam tries to one-up him, Luke plays video games with his 85-year-old neighbor Walt, and Manny goes to the horse races to learn about gambling from Jay and his father, Javier.
After last month's "Express Christmas" episode, this week's offering left me a little stale. Don't get me wrong, there were puh-lenty of funny, memorable moments, but overall it just felt a little off. Phil thinking he was going to die wasn't one of his best story arcs—I like my Phil Dunphy a little zanier than that—and the cutaways to the Smarty Pants game show felt too bizarre and out of place on a show that never does them. Those gags are better suited for shows like 30 Rock that know how to get in, get out and get on with the story. It's always fun having Benjamin Bratt on the show as Javier, and his "talking to horses" bit was pretty funny, but dealt with Jay's insecurities about being Manny's stepdad before, so it was all a bit predictable.
Anyway, enough of the negative. On to my favorite lines of the night!
"Let's dim the lights, crank up the Nora Jones and get this over with." - PhilHappy Endings
"Golf? That is for old men and women who like women." - Javier, who once took Manny to The Petting Zoo, a strip club.
"This award has changed you, Mitchell. You may be flying high now, but pretty soon you're going to be free fallin', Tom Petty. Because you're petty. Tom Petty. Get it?" - Cam, who after winning a fishing competition signed his autographs, "Best Fishes, Cameron Tucker."
"Why do I even need to know Spanish? I live in California. I'm never gonna use it." - Haley, who, according to Alex, knows less words than Lily.
"Win a war sometime. Then we'll start talking like you." - Walt, who taught Luke the phrase, "See you in Hell, Klaus!"
"I love gambling. It's so easy!" - Manny, who likes to dress as Matt Damon in The Legend of Bagger Vance.
Season 2, Episode 10: "The Shrink, the Dare, Her Date and Her Brother"
Dave gets jealous when Penny starts dating his therapist Rick Rickman (aka Party Down's Ken Marino), Brad and Alex begrudgingly attempt to improve their relationship to make Jane happy, and Max and Jane dare each other to wear heinous outfits in order to prove who is the most vain.
This week, the writers mixed up the pairings with tremendous success. This might be the first episode we've had Penny/Dave, Max/Jane and Brad/Alex together, and I loved it. The outfit dare had me in stitches, as did the reveal of Jane's secret Chicago Firemen calendar. Brad and Alex acted exactly the way I do while watching a rom-com, further sliding Brad into his hilarious metrosexual persona. Personally, I did not see the Penny/Dave relationship thing coming, and there's still time to see whether or not something comes from it. It'd certainly be interesting to see how Alex reacted to the whole thing, though I've already talked at length about how much I don't want Alex/Dave to be a Ross/Rachel relationship. Please.
Let's get to the best lines...
"Get back here, you gay!" - Jane, who couldn't come up with anything better.What did you think of this week's episodes? Were you underwhelmed by Modern Family? Did you die at the sight of Max and Jane's outfits? And are you a fan of the potential Penny/Dave couple?
"Seriously? I get stuck with the check again? What is the point of having white friends?" - Brad, who voice gets really high when he's nervous.
"I twisted my ankle twisting Max's ankle." - Jane, whose therapy is her gardening, where she can dig and smash... and smash...
"So you're gonna lie to Jane and not get any closer to Brad. Sounds like a great plan." - Dave, who is going to therapy, not taking a dance class (whew).
"Are hip hop and rap the same thing?" - Alex, who brings stinky hot dogs to the movies.
"See that woman eating lava cake? Touchy uncle. He didn't molest her, he just gets easily offended." - Penny, who still goes to her childhood therapist to complain about where guys aren't touching her.
"You look like Jamiroquai before Labor Day!" - Jane, who looked like Carol Brady right before she was arrested for molesting Bobby.
[Image Source: ABC]