Oh, boy, here we go again. The "real women" challenge is not a new addition Project Runway by any means, but there always manages to be a designer completely blindsided by it, causing them to act like a total a-hole on national television without a single shred of self-awareness. Last season, it was Olivier. And this season? Who decided to step up to the plate and be the resident psychopath when faced with a person with a waist larger than the circumference of a Twizzler? Our dear friend RoboVen.
A breakdown of his antics and the rest of the episode coming up after the jump...
Onto the runway walk ten normal people—Elena quickly deduces that there's no way these people have anything to do with fashion—and Heidi introduces them as the friends of people in serious need of a makeover. Each designer is "randomly" paired with one of these What Not To Wear rejects and given one day and $150 to transform their style, including a brand new hairstyle courtesy of a sponsor that shall remain nameless because I don't cater to product placement. Fight the power!
When the eyes started to roll, Heidi reminded them "and you also get to help someone, which is nice," essentially saying "DON'T BE JERKS!" Most heeded Heidi's warning.
In the Workroom:
- Nathan's girl wants a tight dress with cutouts and a bare midriff. He admits he would never recommend that to a client, so it's incredibly perplexing that he goes with it.
- A lengthy sequence of hair makeovers ensues, all of which would be impossible without the products of aforementioned sponsor.
- Fabio gets to talk to his cutey-patootie boyfriend and cat and I start to warm up to him now that he has a personality.
- Nathan decides not to use "your regular old hooker mesh." Not that it will help much.
- Elena and Gunnar are really nice to their clients and show that they aren't complete psycho drama queens like we originally thought.
- Alicia once again admits to not being good at dresses while she sews a dress.
Ven, Model Citizen:
Like Olivier before him, Ven is of the mindset that clothes should only be made for stickly women with "perfect" model proportions and had no qualms about spouting that belief to anyone who would listen, including the other designers, the national television audience and, most embarrassingly, his client. And, let's get real, she was a size 14... girlfriend was not that big. His behavior was completely inappropriate, unprofessional and exemplified exactly why many women feel completely ostracized from fashion. Listen up, Ven, all women are deserving of beautiful clothes because all women are capable of looking absolutely gorgeous, regardless of their size.
And, while we're on the subject, who do you think made your clothes, you Heffalump?!
Joining our ragtag gang of adjudicators this week was British fashion designer Alice Temperley, who is goddess in my book simply for assisting in the styling of the Duchess-Formerly-Known-as-Kate. And you know what? For the most part, the judges got it right this time. Snaps up, judges!
- Dmitry - Our boy Dmitry is really gunning for a win, but this was simply not going to get him one. The color was certainly fabulous, and the dress gave his client a sexy, cool confidence she didn't have before, but it was too tight and featured one of those stupid exposed zippers. Plus, he did a similar bodice detail in the "woman on the go" challenge, and that version was much more interesting. You'll get 'em next time, Big D.
- Fabio - Fabio not only let his personality out this week, but he also had his best showing on the runway yet. I loved all the geometric shapes in different shades of gray (note: thankfully not 50); it read as very "Fabio" but still showed off his client's artistic flair. Yes, the belt was a big misstep, but the overall look was fabulous and did wonders for the girl afraid of getting out of her jeans. As Michael said, "it took a boy in a dress to get you in a dress." Get RuPaul on the line!
- Gunnar - Well, golly, Miss Deatherage. In the land of little black dresses, this one was fun, flattering and had great movement as his model sashayed down the runway. His approach to client interaction certainly helped here; she loved him so she did everything she could to show off the dress, and it worked! All you could focus on was how happy she looked in the dress. It was enough to get the judges (and me) to ignore the subpar, askew construction.
- Nathan - Here is a great example for the chapter in Project Runway 101 titled "What Not To Do In a Client-Based Challenge." He knew it was a mistake making it a little hoochie dress, and it turned out even worse than imagined. The tight, shiny fabric made her midsection look huge and it was way too short. The braiding was tacky, the illusion mesh was tacky, and those side panels made her look, as Alice Temperley would say, like a total tart.
- Sonjia - Though Sonjia was totally onboard with the challenge, it's clear she had no idea how to dress someone who was short and a little stout. The proportions of this dress were way off; it was too short and the knot was definitely misplaced. In addition to the fit issues, it was just a bland dress helped only by its bold color. She should've infused some of her client's sporty aesthetic in order to come up with something more interesting and more flattering.
- Ven - Awful, awful, awful. His client hated it, the judges hated it, I hated it. The giant zipper up the skirt was not flattering, the turquoise top looked like a bed sheet smock, and she was obviously miserable wearing it. As Heidi said, "Ven, it's your fault. We love Terri, but we don't love your outfit." Yuck.
Listen, I know that Elena's look was a little plain and rendered in rather boring colors, but she's getting some snaps from me for not being a total lunatic this week. It's all about positive reinforcement, my friends.
I mean, we can all sense the impending auf of Alicia any day now, right? She's a total sweetheart, and I love when she sticks to her "tomgirl" aesthetic, but this was a total disaster. She has to stop trying to make dresses while competing with people who actually know how to do it.
And the winner is:
Fabio! Hooray! Funny how he went from total disaster to one of the designers I'm rooting for in the matter of two episodes.
Auf Wiedersehen to:
Nathan. Sigh. You know, I totally understand the auf'ing of Nathan considering his ghastly entry this week and the fact that he hasn't really given us much to be hopeful about over the course of these past six episodes. I get it. But it would've been amazing if the judges had the balls to get rid of Ven, showing that it doesn't matter how talented you are, you can't piss off the client. Not that this show has ever displayed any amount of cajones in that regard—hello, Santino and Jeffrey and Kenley and Gretchen and Joshua—but I certainly would've cheered.
What did you think of this week's episode? Did Ven deserve to go home for his deplorable behavior? Are you rooting for Fabio now? Who do you think is the next to go? And did anyone understand this post's title as a reference to the Nick cartoon Aaahh, Real Monsters!? No? Just me....?
[Image Source: Lifetime]